Avenging the Throne

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Terence Gavish


  • Tommy Dooley 2 years ago
    8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
    1.0 out of 5 stars
    The Maltese Turkey, July 18, 2015
    Tommy Dooley (London, England) –
    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)

    Might Contain SPOILERS
    Set sometime in the 1300’s in some place where there has been a bit of a fight – we meet five lone survivors of the `north skirmish’ they never actually say where this is based. They then do some speechifying about how dead people can’t hold loved ones ever again and then wander off to some castle. There the hero Tristan de Leon, falls for an enigmatic woman called `Adormidera’ and that was the original title of this Maltese film in the UK it was released as ‘The Seventh Sword’; which just goes to show that they have to change the name to avoid the bad press of the previous reviews – shameful behaviour for what is a movie that redefines the meaning of ‘sucks’.

    Back to the ‘plot’ -the following day they intervene in her release and the other guys come after them. There are some side issues that I got too depressed to care about and basically that is it!

    Now this was billed as an `epic’ and it is in some circumstances ie `fail’ – but to be fair a lot of money was spent on it – but sadly mostly wasted. We have shaky camera action scenes where the camera man seems to have advanced Parkinson’s. The script is woeful in places with ropey dialogue and some actors who ought to be arrested for crimes against cinema.

    There are issues with over dubbing, lip synch, the sound levels vary and the music is a total mismatch. The sound is all action packed and dripping with emotion, whilst the on screen action is pitifully dull; this is like having the BBC Philharmonic playing whilst Placido Domingo sings an aria to a scene of your dog taking a dump.

    There are loads of scenes which go on too long and very little happens. Or the players have to state the bleedin obvious as if we could not spot it we can see the horses have been nicked for instance. Then there are the accents which all vary and sound like they are the victims of a bad elocution teacher. The fight scenes are a bit like watching kids fight with dustbin lids; only with less vim.

    Then there is the love interest – if you can call it that – more like screen time waste if you ask me and it has about as much screen chemistry as two rabbits rutting.

    In the end credits they thank `The Institute of Healthy Happiness’ – well guys you scored a bit of an own goal on this one methinks – unless they have an ironic title. How this has been released with the new daft title I will never know – what is the `Seventh Sword’ and what ‘throne’ needed avenging? The cover art is misleading too as it makes the film look like something actually happens in it. Do yourselves a massive favour and avoid like yellow snow.


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  • Catherine 2 years ago
    7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
    3.0 out of 5 stars
    Its not that bad., January 16, 2015
    Catherine (Houston, Texas) –

    Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    The acting could be better. The costumes and props were excellent and more accurate to the time period in which the story was set than most of the larger budget films. The story itself is not that difficult to follow: Warriors, fed up with war, returning home, one, (the warrior who is telling the story and is the star of the film) sees a mysterious woman in a village they stop over in and becomes obsessed with her, an obsession which leads to more tragedy and a bit of a “super-natural” twist at the end.


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