Golf Joke Collection part 1

Golf Joke Collection part 1

Golf Joke Collection

PART 1

A golfer called one of the caddies and asked, “I need a caddy who can count and keep the score.What’s 3 and 4 and 5 come to?”
“10? said the caddy.
“Great, you’ll do perfectly!”

—

A guy is standing in front of his locker at the country club admiring a golf ball he has in his hand.
One of his golfing mates remarks: “What’d you do, get some new golf balls?”
“Would you believe that this is the greatest golf ball ever made? You can’t lose it. You hit it into the rough, it whistles.  discount golf clubs  You hit it into the woods and a bell inside goes off. If you drive it into a lake, a big burst of steam shoots up six feet in the air for two minutes.”
“That’s great. Where did you get it?”
He replied, “I found it.”

—

A man, about to tee off felt a tap on his shoulder and a bloke handed him a card that read “I am a deaf mute. May I play through, please?”

The 1st man angrily gave the card back, and communicated that “No, he may NOT play through, and that his handicap did not give him such a right.”

The first man whacked the ball onto the green and left to finish the hole.

Just as he was about to put the ball into the hole he was hit in the head with a golf ball, laying him out cold.

When he came to a few minutes later, he looked around and saw the deaf mute sternly looking at him, one hand on his hip, the other hand holding up 4 fingers.

—

A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with 00 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer. The husband said I’m sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the last 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer. The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said “I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the 00 in the drawer. The husband replied” Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.

—

Nick, an avid golfer uses a “Medium” to ask if Heaven has a Golf Course.
The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to him in a few days.
Several days later, Nick gets a call from the Medium.
“Well, what did you find out?” asks Nick.
“I’ve got good news and bad news for you,” said the Medium.
“OK,” “what’s the good news” Nick said excitedly.
“Well, there’s is a beautiful 36 hole golf course in Heaven, and you’ll have 24 hour access with your own personal caddy,”  discount golf clubs blurted out the Medium!
“And the bad news?” asked Nick
“You’re due to tee-off this Sunday at around 10 in the morning!”

—

A married couple are at their breakfast table. The wife says to her husband: “Honey, if I die before you will you remarry?”
“Well,” says the husband, “we have had a good marriage, so, yes, I’d probably remarry.”
A few minutes later she asks: “Honey, if I die before you, and you remarry, would you bring her to live in our house?”
He thinks about this then says, “Well, we worked hard to pay off the mortgage and it would be silly to move someplace else so, yes, I think I would bring her to live here.”
Another few minutes go by, then she says, “Honey, if I die before you and you remarry and you bring her to live here in our house, would you let her use my golf clubs?”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he blurts out, “she’s a lefty!”

After the golf joke i’d like to recommend some clubs to you

 

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